


The Time Before Now

by SpartFarkles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2017-12-28 05:12:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/988093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpartFarkles/pseuds/SpartFarkles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the times where he has nothing to do in the near future that Raphael remembers the time before now. The time when all three of his brothers were still there with him and God hadn't turned his back on them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Time Before Now

**Author's Note:**

> Written mostly as a test to see if I could write in the headspace of Raphael, but also because Phos wanted more Raphael love.

It's the times where he has nothing to do in the near future- where Castiel isn't such a pressing matter and he's sent everyone off to do their duties, that Raphael remembers the time before now. The time when all three of his brothers were still there with him and God hadn't turned his back on them yet.

It was nice when Heaven was Paradise, though nothing had ever been quite peaceful. The world was being created, after all. Even after Raphael had been created, there was still much to do. And once Gabriel came into existence, what energy Raphael wasn't using was being put towards raising the trouble-making youngest archangel like his two older brothers had done with him.

Still in their downtime, when God was resting, Raphael spent time with his beloved brothers. They sat together beneath trees and wondered at the world their father was creating. The shared thoughts with each other, played games with each other, sometimes just sat and existed together.

Raphael remembers fondly the times Michael taught him about duty while Lucifer stood just behind him, mocking their oldest brother and trying to get Raphael to break the stoniness Michael was instilling in him. There were times, he recalls, that he spent just with Lucifer, discussing things and learning to use his mind creatively. He remembers the times Michael scolded Lucifer for teaching their youngest brother to put off doing his job in favor of playing pranks and being silly. There were times, even, that Raphael would join Lucifer or Gabriel in their merrymaking just as their were times he'd join Michael in reprimanding them.

Still what mattered was that they were together. Even after God began creating more angels than just archangels, they would still find time to be alone together- just the four of them. And there was always a special link shared between them, similar to the one shared with all angels though it ran much deeper. Raphael loved that, being able to always be near his brothers even when they were physically away.

But the fighting began once the humans had been created. Lucifer hated them, thought they were worthless. Raphael didn't care much for them either, but bit his tongue because that was his duty and what Michael expected of him. Michael and Lucifer argued more frequently, oftentimes dragging God into it, and Raphael and Gabriel were caught in the middle. They still had moments of peace together, though few and far between, but they never lasted long before one would accuse the other or say something the other didn't agree on. Gabriel left, unable to stand it anymore. Not long after, Lucifer rebelled.

After Lucifer's rebellion, after Michael cast Lucifer out of Heaven and into Hell for refusing orders direct from their Father, everything changed. There were still echoes of Lucifer, hints of how he was feeling, but it wasn't enough to fill the void. Gabriel still checked in every once in a while, but it didn't take long for their to be silence on his end. As if that hadn't been painful enough, Lucifer committed another act of defiance and created a twisted creature to mock God, and got himself thrown into the Cage. They were all thoroughly cut off from Lucifer.

Everyone felt the loss of the Light Bearer and the Messenger of God, some more keenly than others. Michael especially took it hard, having been the one to turn his back on Lucifer and cast him out. Raphael knew, not just because of the thoughts and emotions coming from his eldest brother, but because Michael never smiled after Lucifer's fall.

Not that Raphael hadn't tried. Though he, too, missed Lucifer and Gabriel, he tried to ease his brother's pain. He'd tried so hard to be the perfect brother, to follow in his brother's footsteps. It was in vain.

After God turned his back on them all, Michael became obsessed with the apocalypse. Raphael understood that it was the last instruction God had left them, and the only way to restore their home to its former glory. Raphael had hoped that it would somehow restore his broken family, though he knew it was folly to do so.

In the present, Raphael sighs. This civil war in Heaven isn't what he wants. It's destroying his home and killing his siblings, but it's the only way to get what he wants. Maybe it's selfish, but he wants his family back. If he can win this silly fight against Castiel, which most of the time he feels he will, he can bring his brothers back from the Cage, restore Gabriel, and act out the apocalypse like planned. They can give this story the proper ending, and maybe he can once again sit beneath a tree in Paradise, simply existing with his brothers again.


End file.
